Posted in Health Matters, Relationships, Wisdom

My Two Cents Worth on Robin Williams & Mental Illness

I’ve been trying to put into words how I feel about the death of actor Robin Williams but honestly the only thing I could come up with is, “depression is no joke.”

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I’ve seen the hallow eyes of depression. The struggle to keep it all together. The eggshells cracking beneath the feet of careful walking. It’s real and we need to stop covering it up and address ways to help those struggling with all forms of mental illness.

What can we do for a person mentally ill?

Pray for them. Many have lost hope and are not in the position to pray their way out. That’s where the warriors need to stand in the gap.

Allow them to talk. Ask if they want you to just listen or if they are seeking advice. There’s nothing worse than unsolicited advice when you don’t feel well.

Love them. The feeling that no one cares, or understands is overwhelming.

Sometimes it’s extremely hard to discern whether you’re being manipulated, so it’s wise to avoid using words and statements that can be turned against you like, “you always do that! or, you need to snap out of it!” Also, be sure to set boundaries between you and the person battling depression or you can find your way down a very slippery slope.

There was a season where I was walking in the middle of the night with my son either outside if it was warm enough, or in 24-hour stores. He couldn’t sleep and I was afraid to allow him to walk alone because of his depression. The more I did that, the more fatigued I became. To the point where I became depressed as well from worry, lack of sleep and endlessly trying to “fix” him. I had to learn (it’s still a work in progress) to work on fixing me instead. The weight of his struggles and mine combined was too much to bear without help. So I got help… For me.

Please don’t ridicule a person who is mentally ill. Don’t put them down if they need to take medication or even the need for therapy. I can’t tell you how many people I wanted to flatten for telling me or my son to “increase your faith or you’ll get over it.”

Which brings me to this fantastic piece from PsychCentral.com:

The Worse Things to say to Someone Who’s Depressed

1. “What’s your problem?”

2. “Will you stop that constant whining? What makes you think that anyone cares?”

3. “Have you gotten tired yet of all this me-me-me stuff?”

4. “You just need to give yourself a kick in the rear.”

5. “But it’s all in your mind.”

Read More Here

Rest In Peace Robin Williams, You made us laugh and cry, and now you’re teaching the world about the pain of depression and mental illness.

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Posted in Health Matters, Wisdom

5 Things Christians Should Know About Depression & Anxiety

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Posted in Me

Hope for the Holidays

In this season of miracles, hope and joy, many still feel the heaviness of depression. Perhaps they are missing a loved one who has passed away. Maybe it’s a broken relationship. Possibly it’s a lack of funds to really deck the halls.

I have felt all of those emotions over the years and honestly, a bit this year for all those reasons above however…

And, Hope has not only been whispering to me, but flat out YELLING at me lately, so allow me to share my hope with you:

I have Hope that I will see my son trying to make positive changes

I am Hopeful when I’m able to negotiate a deal that will make my life easier

And thanks to a wonderful student who read one of my posts and disagreed with me, let me say that…

I am grateful for the Hope I give my students in eight short weeks that stays with them for life.

I thank you God for the gift of Hope!


Psalm 39:1 “And now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You.

May your holidays be filled with Hope, Joy and of course Love!

Posted in My Son and Me

He’s Able!

From the top: I adopted my son as a single parent shortly before his 1st birthday. You wouldn’t know it by looking at us:

Why am I here?

For 16 years we’ve dealt with the aftermath of his birth mom exposing him to drugs, leaving him in the hospital and living with foster parents for nine-months  who were – though I thank them for taking him in, it could have been worse – smokers, parents to other foster children, and an adopted child that was taking them through drama at the time.

Through the years: Manchild has battled Asthma, ADHD, Depression, Anger and Attachment Disorders. We’ve gone through countless, counselors (professional and spiritual), therapists and psychiatrists. But the moment he got into high school, there was a shift in his behavior far darker than years before.

Now: I’ve watched him become obsessed with death metal music, black nails, demonic clothing, combative, obstinate, insulting, and a disregard for any authoritative direction. What I do know is that is not my son – those are demonic forces that have attacked his already fragile mind. I have been battling against these forces so hard that it’s left me exhausted mentally and physically. But, I will not give up.

I have been given plenty of “if I were you” advice from professionals, friends and family but there is no way… I mean no way at all… you can give advise unless you’ve lived through this thing.

Manchild is in the hospital for the second time this year – and I pray the last time – for self-destructive and combative behavior.  He was watching TV and playing video games 24/7 with limited sleep and his only communication to the outside world was through X-Box live or his cell phone.  He refused to do anything I told him to do and was living in filth right before my very own eyes. The state had to become involved (which is another blog completely because I’m totally angry with them right now) because he would not come out of his room for anything but food and bathroom.

He is so angry with me for having him hospitalized again, but I did speak to him today. This is what I told him: “I love you. I know you’re angry but I want you to use this as an opportunity to get back in line with your destiny (because he deserves it), I want you to use this as an opportunity to ask for help and for directions to get you to your goals. Get your anger out and discover what it is you want to do to make a difference in the world.”

I don’t know how much went in one ear and out the other so for my warriors who have been by my side on this, and those new to my story, I am asking for your agreement as I speak life into my son. Join me as I pray for God to send his angels to repair the damage caused by his birth mother’s abuse while he was in the womb. Join me as I demand satan to step back and away from my son and our home in JESUS name! Join me as I see my son’s destiny clearly: a God-loving strong black man, a talented artist-musician-photographer, a blessing to others, self-suffient, lover of family and compassionate toward those who will walk his path and need help. Please join me as I know, God is Able!